


Say you do

by Iouistomlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 02:17:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11911146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iouistomlinson/pseuds/Iouistomlinson
Summary: Harry loves Louis endlessly but some things weren't meant to be.





	Say you do

Harry waits. It feels like he had been waiting for ages in the small-spaced room. But he knows he had to keep waiting for him to come. Harry is no doubt- nervous, anxious. As much as he don't want to do this, he knew he should.

He just really hopes that Louis would understand.

Sitting on the dull-coloured sofa while crossing his legs, he stares at the ground as he shifts his hand together. At the moment, he couldn't make up his mind. His relaxation is drifting to nowhere. The more he waits there, he swears he could go crazy with all his thoughts and believes slowly eating him out.

_What is taking Louis so long? I asked him to be here 5 minutes ago._

Harry realizes his reason to be this mess is absolutely absurd. But he genuinely couldn't wait any longer, sitting here alone. He could almost feel his feet getting numb for sitting on the sofa in a very long time. Harry lifts up his right hand to see the watch. It had only been 3 minutes since he last checked the time but god knows how long has it feels like.

He taps his right feet to the ground and twitch his lips. _If he's not coming here in a minute, I will leave._ He said to himself, slightly feeling annoyed.

Just to his suprise, a timid knock was heard from the door. "Anybody there? Harry?" A high-piched voice echoed into the room he's currently in. That's definitely his Louis.

"Come in, Lou!" He shouts back as the door gradually opens, revealing a sight of a very tired-looking Louis.

Harry blinks simultaneously at the figure of his long-time boyfriend. Or at least that's what he thinks they are. They haven't put any labels of themselves and doesn't really think they should. It's pretty obvious for them.

"You look tired... Come here." Harry says softly, leading Louis to the couch he sat on. Reaching his hand, Harry pats his head. Harry gave him a warm smile.

"Well. I came, didn't I?" Louis replied with a weak smile.

Louis brushed himself off before adding, "Sorry for being late by the way.."

"It's fine. I didn't wait for long. Just been a few minutes." _Lies_.

"Oh.. Okay then." Louis says in a low voice. God, it's crazy how much Harry adores the sweet voice. It instantly put on the smile to his face again.

"So.. Why did you ask me to go here? Got something to tell?" Louis asked before puttng his warm hand on Harry's thigh. Harry could feel a tingling sense and this heart fluttering as if a thousand fireworks just flew all over his body. Harry blushed deeply.

There is no lies. It's pretty much obvious that Harry really adores Louis. From the way he talks to the way he moves. His admiration for him was deep seated and long lasting. Everything about the little boy could make him literally insane. Harry is so in love and he couldn't ever imagine how empty would it feels like to be without him. Harry would never want to live a life without Louis.

Sometimes, you has to go with what is right. And that is what Harry is going to do right now.

"Listen. Louis..." Harry trembled.

"Yeah?" Louis responded, looking up to meet Harry's face where as Harry had already been staring for long. Harry swears this usually only happens in cliché movies. But when their eyes meet and they continued to stare at each other for what it feels like years, Harry never wants it to end. It's not even the first time either. It is just something about Louis that makes everything feels like the first time.

Hypnotized by Louis' beauty, Harry tried to make up words. "I-I.." But failed.

"Yes, Harry?" Says Louis, blinking his ocean blue eyes that attracted Harry's attention. Harry realizes that his mouth is gaping and he quickly closes it.

_Just do it. Say it, you idiot._

"I love you."

Silence. Harry continues to stare at Louis where as Louis just blinked as a response.

_Stop being stupid. Just say it._

Louis laughs. His beautiful laugh makes Harry let out an uncomfortable chortle as well. "I know, Haz. You've said it many times. I love you too." Louis gave him a strong, wide smile with teeth.

_I'm a coward. I have to say it. It's for the best. Why couldn't I just say it?_

Harry absolutely loves seeing Louis smile. But that's not the case this time.

"Louis. Um.. that was a lie. Um- that is not what I was going to say." He speaks.

Louis rose his eyebrow slightly. He lets out a cough. "Oh- um. So what were you going to say?" The way Louis rose his eyebrow makes his cheeks rose-

 _Stop it, Harry. You're ridiculous. JUST SAY IT!_ Harry shouts to himself.

Harry closed his eyes before letting a deep growl. "I-I'm sorry. We can't be together." Harry stated, sounding weak. Just like what he is like right now. He could feel his jaw tense as they ground his teeth.

"W-What?" Louis croaked, eyes in wide circles. Louis face pales. Louis definitely didn't expect that at all- neither does Harry to be honest.

"Um- Yeah." Harry gulped as he feels a lump in his throat, causing his voice to be slightly hoarse.

"Harry... Why?"

"It's because of... Eleanor." Harry sighs. "I'm sorry." He whispers quietly.

"Harry.. You know that's just a cover up, right? You're the one I love. Not Eleanor, only you. Please."

"Louis. Stop"

"Harry—"

"Stop it, Louis! You're making this harder that it should be. I don't love you and I never will." Harry voices risen, making Louis flinch a bit. Harry immediately regrets his words.

Louis couldn't--- Harry knows Louis couldn't bring himself to meet Harry's eyes right now. Louis probably felt ashamed of him. Even if he didn't, Harry definitely feel the same way to himself right now.

"Hey-" Harry said, grabbing both of Louis' soft hands. Looking straight to Louis' eyes, causing him to do the same. "I'm sorry, okay?"

Louis shuts his eyes, glancing away from the meeting of who once he though- loved him back. Louis roughly pulled his hands away from Harry's grip. It was harsh, and Louis- not even once had been harsh to him. He felt guilt. He felt pain but Harry knows- he'll never feel as much pain as how Louis is as of now.

_I am doing this for us, Louis._

"I-I have to go." Louis gave Harry a last smile unsurely.

"I will always love you still..." Harry almost couldn't hear it because of how low his voice was.

And before Harry could entirely make out what Louis said, he has already heard the door shut.

"No! Louis--" Harry's heart gave him a uncomfortable ache.

Harry felt all his dark emotions coming through all at once. Anger, pain, displeasure, irritation, rage. They're all kicking him in and he is feeling so much pressure. It's all gone to his head. Harry felt his head becoming dizzy with all the stress.

He paced the narrow room, trying to find peace. But all he feels now is hatred. Hatred to the world, to everyone, to himself, to Louis even.

"Ah. Fuck!" He shout as he tries to kick the stone-hard stool. Yes, he feel so much pain- now both physically and mentally but that's what he tried to achieve.

"You're so stupid! Why did you have to do that!" Harry screams in agony.

_I hurt Louis. Now, I have to give myself a payback._

"I'm pathetic!" His veins almost popping up from his wrist. He, now tries to kick the brick wall as hard as he can. He punched, he kicked, he banged his head onto the wall yet the wall doesn't affect even a little bit. That makes his anger rises even more as he tried doing the same thing over again until he sees a little crack. He smiled to himself, feeling proud that he achieved his goals but fails to notice the blood all over his knuckles, head and toes.

_Dumb. Foolish. Naive. Crazy. That's what I am._

If he was blowing up in anger before, he is now crying in raged burst. He lay his head on the same brick wall, looking down as the tears fall down his cheeks,

_I'm pathetic. Why am I so pathetic?_

Harry felt a pang on his chest from his own choice of words. He is bullying himself.

_Louis wouldn't like a pathetic person like me._

"Stop it.." Harry whispered to himself, his voice cracking.

_But he does. And now I ruin it for myself._

Harry sobs uncontrollably.

"I am pathetic." He confirmed.

"It's even more sad that I.. talk to myself. Freak." He chocked on every word.


End file.
